Nov. 4th, 2008

Future... will there be one?

So I'm alone again on the roof with the pigeons.  I find myself thinking about the future and whether there will be one.  Logic would seem to say that there 'as to be one, otherwise where-when did the others go?  But if that's the case, where does free will come into play?  Free will.  Two words, two simple words, but so complicated a concept.  I look at the birds. Free will.

"I let 'em out once a day, they come back. Sounds like free will to me."  

Seems like a lifetime ago when I said those words to Peter.  I don't believe in destiny.  And I don't really believe in fate either.  Granted I've spent a good chunk of my life hidin' from people, in general, and now I'm about to risk my life for a good chunk of them.  And chances are they could probably care less.  Probably wouldn't notice me even if I weren't invisible most of the time.  Do I have a choice?  I mull it over.  Only the specials left alive.  .07%  I can't help but wonder if that would be so bad.  Sounds too good to be true.  But then I've seen what 'appens with some specials.  Most wanna just be left the 'ell alone.  Some try to crush everyone else, specials and others alike.  I couldn't hunt my own people anymore and if I allow all the rest of the population to be wiped out am I any better than if I was still a loyal doggie?  So much blood on my 'ands. I don't want any more.  I'm makin' a choice.  I'm gonna save as many as I can and if I make it through this, maybe I can get some peace.