Feb. 7th, 2009

Damned if I do damned if I don't

I've spent the better part of the last 8 (or is it 9?) years lookin' over me shoulder, waitin' for them to show up and cart me off.  Back in November 2006, they nearly did via the same man they sent to try to kill me, Bennet.  Now Angela Petrelli is in charge and says it's gonna be different and it will be the way it was supposed to be.  Trouble is, I don't really trust anyone.  Hell, Bennet was my best mate and he tried to kill me!  With friends like him, I've got no need for enemies.  And It's not just what he did to me.  Haram betrayed me before that.  I'd thought he was my friend too.  Haram was supposed to stay on for 6 months, he swore to me he would, we shook on it, but he bailed right after the Fusor case was over.   I had to find out from a secretary.  A bloody secretary!   Never saw him again.  And it's not just what I've lived through either.  I've seen familes self destruct, husbands and wives turn on each other, siblings sell each other, childern sell parents, and parents sell children.  There's always an angle, always a catch.  This world is sick.  Full of people that would sooner rip one's head off than do something decent.  And when they do something decent, it's with an ulterior motive.   It would be nice to do what I set out to do, a long time ago, and have kept trying to do, but I dunno that I can really believe in anything or anyone anymore.  I tried to teach Peter, wound up having to run for me life again.  I tried to teach Elle, she quit.  I never ever promised any of those whom I've taught that things would be easy; they never are and there's no sense lying about it.  And I don't think I can stop lookin' over me shoulder until I'm dead.